As I approach the period of the beginning of my vanprastha, there is a deep sense of satisfaction and happiness inside me, similar to when you are preparing to go home after a long travel to various parts of the world, whether the travel was successful or a failure, that only time will tell, as I have not gone into sanyas as yet.
In this journey of mine, I have had many experiences of the subtler dimensions and some of the physical world, not to forget the experiences which I have had with my prospective shishyas; I use the word prospective as I could not convert even one into a shishya. As a Guru, I feel that I have failed, but that does not translate as the failure of my Guru, as I am a shishya and my interactions with my students have been phenomenal for them and for me. Their experiences of the subtler worlds and the dimensions of the gods and goddesses whom they have encountered and conversed with are unheard of in this present day and time. The experiences are enough to prove the efficacy of the science of yog and the existence of the higher worlds and the energy of the Guru. I could write volumes on their experiences but I leave it to them to do that on their own after my sanyas, which would take a few more years.
In this series of articles, I have chosen ten of my students about whom I would be writing, the purpose is to educate the other prospectives that as you go higher into the subtler worlds and the closer you get to shaktipath, the bigger comes the test. Maya plays on your hidden desires and weaknesses and creates an illusion inside you about the reality of this unreal world and the falsehood of the real world…to make you err, and if you get stuck, the process of rebirth for you is the only option then.
This was in the early 2000s, a shishya of mine who had come to me as a complete skeptic began doing the practices as told. She did them religiously without fail for two years and began to develop the subtle sights of the higher worlds and also started doing complicated asans during her deep states of dhyan. Now it is interesting to note that I had taught her no asans ever and she had no idea what they were; sitting in dhyan and suddenly doing Sarvang, Shisha and Mayur in such a frail and untrained body with eyes closed on the cushioned bed with such ease was an unbelievable sight for her family members. For her, it was beyond her mind to understand. For me, it was the “Awakening” process initiated.
Suddenly she left, she left me and the foundation without a trace, untraced and no communication… and after two years she resurfaced; one look at her and we were all in shock, all her beauty, grace and glow had gone, she looked so ordinary. On my asking where had she been all this while, she replied that, “I thought that if someone like you who wears no robes and has no beard and has crew cut hair and who works for a living, can make me experience these phenomenal forces then what about all the known Gurus? They can take me places, so I decided to go to them, I travelled the entire length and breadth of India and met many, got shaktipath from many[a concept of many shaktipaths is still alien to me as I have not even given it once], attended many courses, lived in ashrams…but am disappointed as nothing happened.”
She was sad, but I was devastated for I knew and she did not, that she had insulted the Guru force by moving away from me, and her experiences also vanished…she tried for nearly 5 years after that to come back to me, was regular in sessions and practices, in service, but alas yog could never come back to her….in spite of my best efforts.
Like I say even if I want to give you something, I can’t unless you get it out of me with your focus. This is kaliyug, chances are that a Guru who makes you experience the ultimate also will fail, as your desires would adulterate you and dilute you. They will take you away from him/her as you might fall prey to maya and get fooled into leaving him/her, just when you need him/her the most.
So the solution is, once you find the path, as Shri Aurobindo says, don’t leave it for you don’t know in which lifetime you will again find a Guru and begin your journey. If your experiences are there, then no matter how many desires crop up [which they will] don’t get misled and waylaid, stay on the path and you shall reach, it’s my promise to you.