Concept of marriage


The Creation is run on the principle of balance between the opposites – darkness and light, black and white, sound and silence, positive and negative, Purush and Prakriti, Shiv and Shakti…Marriage is a union between a man and a woman, the coming together of two opposites to create a whole or balance. Today, the word ‘marriage’ is understood as ‘the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies.’

It is common knowledge that men and women are different – not only in their physical and physiological makeup, but also in their perspective. In today’s day and age, their reasons for getting married are also different. Women marry for financial stability and men marry for sex. Marriage today is a barter deal between two individuals. As long as the deal is mutually beneficial to both parties, the ‘marriage’ continues but the second either one sees their interests not being met, there is a divorce.


Interestingly, there was no concept of divorce in the vedic times. The husband took full responsibility of the woman’s physical and financial needs and the wife looked after the man and his family with complete devotion and respect, for the rest of their lives.

Woman is the ‘shakti’ in a man’s life. If the man is equated to a vehicle, then the woman is the fuel, without which the vehicle is stationary. This is why it is said that a woman who is completely committed to a man can take him to any heights and there is nothing that he cannot attain in the physical world after that.  Such is the power of this union. But the scenario today is very different.  Today’s marriages are more of a dramatic event, than the coming together of two people. The reason varies from societal pressure of marrying off the daughter, to showing off one’s wealth to even being just a feel good factor!

The connection formed between a man and a woman depends on their desires and that decides the length of their relationship. The higher the purpose, the longer the union. Today connections are normally made at the level of the Mooladhar chakra, which only satisfies the grosser needs of life – like shelter, wealth and belongings, there is no higher purpose; or at the Swadhishthan chakra for sexual gratification. At the Manipoorak chakra, connections are formed for power and status. How often has one been in a situation where you are so caught up wanting to be with a person that you cannot see them meeting anyone else, you want to know where and who they are with every second of the day, you want to ‘own ‘ them? And one mistakes this feeling of jealousy and possessiveness for ‘love’. These connections are formed at the Surya chakra and definitely don’t arise from love.

A selfless connection is formed at the Anahad chakra, where you love the person and don’t tie them down with conditions or emotions, rather you set them free.  Even rarer are connections formed at the Vishuddhi chakra which are established on the basis of creativity.  The most subtle connection is formed at the Agya chakra which is the seat of Lord Shiv in a human being and here is where the union of Shiv and Shakti is complete.  But this is nearly impossible in today’s world because most people are too consumed trying to satisfy their selfish needs.

Earlier marriage ceremonies were simple and sacred, with the focus being on the union of the bride and groom and harmony thereafter. The food, decoration, rituals, costumes and ornaments were satvik and not without a purpose. All this is a far cry from what we see today. Every year, there is another function added to the list of wedding functions. It’s as if there is no dearth to wastage and display of wealth! Modern man’s version of celebration and enjoyment is directly proportional to their spending capacity. Importance is given to superficial things, while the basic thought of the union is forgotten. Great pride is taken in hiring performers from across the world, world cuisines are made available, blaring music is a must…But who thinks of performing a vedic havan for their child’s marriage? Or feeding the poor? Or simply performing their parental duties without getting so engrossed in the act that one loses touch with reality…

If the coming together of two individuals itself becomes nothing more than a pretence, what good can come out of such a relationship? No wonder, the ‘happily ever after’ in today’s day and age is only limited to the last scene of a fiction movie.

Let us restore the sanctity of marriage by getting back to our vedic roots. Instead of creating discord and disharmony, let us be the balancing force in Creation.


Nikita Anand

Nikita Anand

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